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Prayer for discernment in relationships


How do you KNOW if you are supposed to date someone? This is a common question Christian college students and others ask when trying to discern their call in life in the midst of their current situation. Dating can be a big issue with many Christians, because of the culture Prayer for discernment in relationships expectations that go along with it. There are a lot of things we have to cover before we can really get to the most pertinent question. So, let us get started:. What we call dating and how we date currently in our society is a very new and novel way of going about forming relationships.

There are both good and bad elements that go into it. Remember that throughout most of history and most cultures marriage was not discerned through a dating process. So, we have had arranged marriages, courtships, and other ways of planning marriage. But, for the most part, dating exclusively is Prayer for discernment in relationships. Discernment is figuring out what God wants of you.

To do this, Prayer for discernment in relationships MUST pray. He can call you with or without the experience of dating. If you want to date, ask why? Is it just to have companionship, is it to fulfill a desire, are you feeling pressured because others are dating, etc.? Do you want to date a particular person? Do you feel a desire to be married? All of these questions and more should be part of the decision-making process. You should also talk them over with a good friend, mentor, or spiritual director who can provide a more objective viewpoint for you.

There are very few people...

First of all, you should make sure that you have good boundaries over your heart, mind and body for the proper intimacy that the relationship ought to have. For instance, a dating relationship should never go into too much intimacy emotionally or mentally. After going on 3 dates someone need not know everything about you.

The same goes for physical intimacy and emotional.

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You need to make sure there are appropriate levels taken as the relationship progresses, all the while making sure you have clear boundaries to protect both of you. Every relationship should be an avenue to holiness.

Ask yourself these questions throughout the time you might date:. Furthermore, this should be a discernment process.

If you ever get to a point that you could not marry this person, then the dating should end. Otherwise, you are just using them. If you start to go beyond the boundaries you set, then you need to slow Prayer for discernment in relationships relationship down, take a break from it, or end it. Now, if you think that God is calling you into a deeper dating relationship in order to discern the future and to help you grow in holiness, then you ought to obey his will.

So, to sum it up. The long-term goal is for the purpose of discerning marriage with this person or not. But, there are some good short-term goals you should set too:. Also, the culture gives us extremes we need not follow. One extreme is the hook-up culture.

Praying for discernment is the...

I encourage a third path — one that takes things much slower. It looks something like this:. Ultimately, you can rest in the fact that we all have a vocation to holiness.

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